How an Anxious Man Becomes a Father

The best and worst parts about becoming a father are the infinite possibilities.

When I first found out that your mother was pregnant with you, every thought was of the positive possibilities.  My immediate thoughts were that you would be a girl.  You would grow to be a teenager with challenges similar to my own.  That you would be someone who never accepts "that's just the way it's done," and would never be afraid to speak up and disagree with someone if you felt they're incorrect.  People would label you rebellious, recalcitrant, nihilistic, or disrespectful.  But I would know you better.  I would know this was the sign of a talented brain pushing the boundaries around it.  And I was thrilled at the possibility of supporting and cultivating these features and turning you into a successful leader in a STEM field.

But as every parent likely already knows, it ain't that simple.  Life has other plans.  After all, at that point, literally anything was possible.  Those three words - "anything is possible" - meant very little to me beyond their cliched, dictionary definition.  But my anxious brain had 8 months to start figuring out precisely what that meant.  When I heard on the news about a troubled teen committing a violent act, could that be you one day?  Will you be another victim of the opioid crisis?  How will you be prepared for the inevitable contraction of our workforce as technology replaces more and more jobs?  When I watched TV about someone with self-injurious behavior, or struggling with depression, or just struggling academically, could that be in your future?  How would I handle these problems?  Can I handle them?

So I started making explanations to myself as to why this won't happen to us.  I'm enlightened, I told myself, and will be alert to the signs of these problems and will never let them grow to that point.  But then common sense takes over, and I realized most parents think the exact same thing, and right now are no better at solving these problems than I am likely to be.

These were relatively small problems compared to what I was seeing at work.  Becoming a father, even to merely a developing fetus, completely changed my perspective at work.  Every child I saw in the office became you.  "The pregnancy was completely fine until..."  Gulp.  "It all started when we got into a car accident."  Nervous sweat.  "It looked like nothing, and the doctors thought it was reflux."  Panic.

And so with every medical challenge, I started to wonder how our small family would handle it.  The infections.  The seizures.  The medical equipment.  The need to completely restructure our lives.

And these thoughts led to the less obvious: that our lives will be restructured no matter what.  No longer can we simply take an Uber to the airport.  Any group activity will be forbidden until your little immune system is ready to handle people.  Vacation days may no longer be for vacations, but for when you get a fever and can't go to daycare.

But nothing will stop me from watching hockey.
Priorities.

Sleep?  Forget about it.  Those Arabic lessons I've been waking up early for?  On hold, indefinitely.  The home I've been nesting - how can I hammer, drill, or saw with a sleeping baby in the house?  The social life we've finally built in our new community, is it going to be baby- and family-friendly?  My personal growth goals - the books read, the races run, the publications published...

I'm told this mourning process usually happens after your baby is born.  But the anxious mind doesn't wait.

It wasn't all bad.  Getting to know you, slowly, in little bits over those months was thrilling beyond words.  First, we found out there was just one of you (your teta was hoping for twins!).  Then your mother could start to feel you move, giving us a glimpse of your personality (you moved a lot more during hockey games!).  Then we found out you were a girl, and we were overjoyed.  Then you had a name, Aya, for reasons we can't wait to tell you.

With each of these steps, some of those unlimited possibilities were whittled away.  The overwhelming infinity of possibilities becomes a slightly smaller infinity with each passing day.

I didn't realize that was happening until today.  Because today, I finally met you.  And I realized in one life-changing moment when you were placed in your mother's arms that so many of my fears were for nothing.  At the same time, I saw all of those infinities in your curious eyes.

I love every last one of those possibilities. 

Whichever one of those possibilities becomes you, becomes your life, I will love it that much more.




Welcome, Aya Lucia Smith.  Your anxious parents are in love with you, and looking forward to a lifetime of loving and worrying about you.

Istanbul & Cappadocia, Turkey

So before talking about Turkey, I have to stop and ask you - what do you already know about this country?  I never asked myself that question before coming here, and probably should have.  It isn't too often I wind up in a place where my expectations wind up so far off from reality, but that is exactly what happened.

If you did that little exercise and were raised in the West, perhaps your answers were comparable to mine.  The big things I knew were Euro- and Christianity-centric.  That the Emperor Constantine was the first Roman emperor to convert to Christianity, and he moved the Roman capital from Rome to Byzantium, which he renamed Constantinople (and was later renamed to Istanbul).  I had heard of the Ottoman Empire and its alliance with the Central Powers during World War I.  Beyond that, my knowledge was extremely limited.  Then we'd visit a site, and we'd realize there's a whole lot we knew nothing about.  At one place, we'd hear about the Byzantine architecture and not know what Byzantine even meant.  At another site, we'd hear about its importance to the Eastern Orthodox Church and not know much about it, or how it differs from Roman Catholicism.  Then we'd see the spectacular mosques and hear about sultans and the Ottoman Empire, and realize how spectacularly ignorant we were about this place.  So with today's blog, I thought it would be helpful to give a little history lesson as I pair parts of its history with places we visited.  Enjoy!

Author's Note: I am no historian, and am relying almost exclusively on Wikipedia for sources.  Please feel free to let me know if I get any details wrong or am omitting important perspectives.

We start with the majestic rock formations of Cappadocia!

Pre-Roman Empire & Cappadocia
Modern Turkey spans from Greece on its northwestern border to Iran in the southeast.  Throughout its history, it has been conquered by or been the seat of power for multiple of these neighbors.  It was first fully conquered by the Persians in the 600's BC.  They were fully driven out by the Greeks and Alexander the Great in the 300's BC.  Very little of the Greek influence exists in modern Turkey, but a small piece of it can be found in Cappadocia, where there remains a small pocket of Greek-speaking Turks.

Cappadocia is a beautiful small region found right in the heart of central Turkey.  It is of little political or cultural importance, but is well-known to travelers for its spectacular, unique volcanic rock formations and love of hot air ballooning.  These rock formations formed from volcanic eruptions that occurred 3 to 9 million years ago.  The subsequent millennia eroded the rock into unique layered pillars.  Locals carved their homes into the soft rock, and much later (300 to 1200 A.D.) churches and monasteries were similarly built into hand-carved caves here.

Modern Cappadocia is the best kind of tourist trap.  Most visitors stay in caves, in emulation of the region's ancient inhabitants.  An unfortunate amount of the local economy is dedicated to tourism, but there remains a lot of authentic native culture.  While tours take people to designated viewpoints, it was extremely easy for us to take dirt roads and find our own vistas.  In a particularly stupid adventure of "car hiking," as Moe called it, we found ourselves alone, dangling our legs off the edge of a cliff and taking in some of the most spectacular views.  We found ourselves mesmerized, trying to find explanations for the bizarre rock formations, or figuring out how on Earth ancient Turks managed to carve their homes into the sheer rock.  The region can be conveniently reached by plane, but we chose to make the 18 hour round-trip by car and were very happy we did.

Roman & Byzantine Empires from the Hagia Sofia
Turkey was fragmented after the fall of the Greek Empire, but became unified under the rule of the Roman Empire during the first century AD.  Under Emperor Constantine I, Byzantine became the capital of the Roman Empire and was renamed Constantinople.  This city would later be renamed Istanbul.

It is at this point that Turkey starts its cultural legacy of being where East meets West.  From Emperor Constantine onward, there was a fragmentation of the Roman Empire between east and west.  In American history classes, we learn about the fall of the Roman Empire at the hands of numerous Gallic, Germanic, and Celtic tribes that ultimately proved too much for its distant centralized government.  In reality, while Rome burned and much of its European gains were lost, the Eastern portion of its empire largely remained intact and became reorganized as the Byzantine Empire.  For about a thousand years, it was the most powerful political and economic force in Europe, rivaled only by Charlemagne's Holy Roman Empire. During this time, Constantinople flourished.  As a measure of its success, it built the "Holy Wisdom" in the span of 5 years in the 500's AD, better known now as the Hagia Sophia (Sophia being the Latin spelling of the Greek word for wisdom).

Our view of the Hagia Sophia.

The Hagia Sophia has such an impressive history that I can only begin to scratch the surface.  For starters, it was the largest cathedral in Europe for nearly 1000 years.  It was originally built as an Eastern Orthodox Church, basically meaning it was Catholic but did not recognize the authority of the Pope.  Instead, Eastern Orthodox Churches are locally self-headed, essentially with bishops being at the top of the hierarchy.  Among these churches, only the Patriarch of Constantine received the distinguished label of primus inter pares, or "first among equals" (I love this term for a leader!).  This wasn't a big deal at first, until the Great Schism of 1054 when the Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Churches mutually excommunicated each other.

The Hagia Sophia was at the center of this East-West Catholic divide for centuries.  Essentially, the Great Schism began in the halls of the Hagia Sophia when the envoy of Pope Leo IX excommunicated the Constantine Patriarch.  It was a target of the Fourth Crusade, sacked by Roman crusaders in 1204 AD, and held by Roman Catholics for over 50 years.  It was in a state of disrepair following the crusade and was in the process of restoration when it became the center of another East-West conflict: the rise of the Ottoman Empire.

It may be hard to see, but the stained glass contains Arabic calligrapy.

I will get to the political transition in the next section, but suffice to say the Ottoman Empire was Islamic, and they converted the church into a spectacular mosque.  The modern result of all of this history is a combination of ancient Catholic and Muslim features unlike anything I've ever seen before.  The vestibule was converted into a library with Qu'ran holders.  The stained glass windows contain Arabic calligraphy.   The ramparts are decorated with huge discs with ornate calligraphy depicting Allah, Muhammed, and the earliest caliphates.

Christ, Pantocrator.

Pre-crusades, the Hagia Sophia was decorated extensively with beautiful ornate mosaics.  The most famous is of Christ Pantocrator ("Ruler of the Universe"), depicted at right.
 However, most of these mosaics were damaged or destroyed during the Crusades.  Later, other mosaics were plastered over by the Ottomans due to Islam's ban on representational imagery.  In places, the plaster has been removed and the original mosaics have been restored, as seen below.

Early Easter Orthodox Christians decorated the Hagia Sophia with ornate mosaics.  These were damaged by the Roman Catholic crusaders and later covered by plaster by the Ottoman Muslims.

There aren't too many places in the world you can see Mary, Jesus, and Arabic calligraphy.

Ottoman Empire - Blue Mosque & Topkapi Palace
Constantinople was captured by Sultan Mehmet II of the Ottoman Empire in 1454.  He converted the Hagia Sophia into a mosque as previously described.  Directly adjacent to it he built his capital, Topkapi Palace.  The palace can be visited today, and I recommend you do.  The grounds are beautiful, and just like the Hagia Sophia, the palace is a combination of East and West.  Marble panels and gold framing evoked memories of European palaces and baroque styling, directly next to colorful Arabesque designs and Islamic calligraphy.  Again, this combination of East & West, European & Middle Eastern feels unlike anywhere else in the world.

The Hagia Sophia proved to be the inspiration for Istanbul's most striking architectural features.  The Ottoman Empire maintained their rule over the region basically up until World War I.  During these 500 years, Ottoman Sultans continued to build numerous mosques in the same styles as the Hagia Sophia, with many topping the original in size and scale.  These widely domed buildings with adjacent minarets now dominate the skyline of Istanbul and of the Turkish countryside. Among the most famous and spectacular is the Blue Mosque, or Sultanahmet, located directly next to the Hagia Sophia.

All of us went with the blue theme to go with the Blue Mosque.

Salaat al jumaa at the Blue Mosque.

No trip to Istanbul is complete without exploring the Blue Mosque.  Hearing its athan or call to prayer from the adjacent square stirs the soul itself.  Muslims and non-Muslims are welcomed to perform salaat or prayers on its grounds.  Honestly, it is worth learning how to perform the Muslim prayer before taking a trip to Turkey simply to participate in this ceremony, as it was one of the biggest highlights of our trip.  We were blessed enough to make it for salaat al jumaa, or weekly prayers - the Islamic equivalent of Sunday Church.  Regardless of your personal religious or areligious background, the experience is one-of-a-kind.

From inside the mosque!

Modern Turkey
During World War I, the Ottoman Empire aligned itself with the Central Powers.  At the end of WWI, Istanbul and Turkey were occupied by Allied forces.  This prompted a war for independence, which was won in September 1922.  The first president was Mustafa Kemal Pasha, who was given the honorary last name of Atatürk ("Father of the Turks").  Atatürk was a progressive, and Turkey was founded explicitly as a secular state.  Additionally, women were given the right to vote decades before western European countries.  Overall, through the decades following the fall of the Ottoman Empire, the country has continued to flourish economically.

In more recent years, Turkey has found itself once again on the front of an East-West conflict.  Turkey is currently dealing with two major threats to its people's safety: the collapse of Syria and the resurgence of the Kurds.  During the Syrian civil war and the emergence of ISIS, the West has chosen to arm a regional minority without a formal country - the Kurds.  This minority has its own language, its own local militia, and asserts rule over portions of eastern Turkey, northern Iraq, and northeastern Syria.  They have proven very effective at driving ISIS out of Iraq.

However, this policy has had multiple very big effects on Turkey.  Number one - Turkey has seen more Syrian refugees than other other country in the world.  Number two - the Kurds have been fighting for their own independent country for years.  As the Kurds have been strengthened militarily by the United States, they have reportedly carried out bombings throughout Turkey.  Turkish citizens have subsequently found themselves in a country with more terrorist attacks than most others.  Whether this is the product of ISIS or the PKK (Kurds) is a subject of much debate.

Most recently, Turkey has been swept up in the wave of nationalism that has taken over the Western Hemisphere.  President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan has increasingly consolidated his powers in steps many feel threaten the democracy in the country.

In short, it is a pretty charged time to visit Turkey.

Turkey as a Tourist - The Good, the Bad, the Depressing
And now, it's time to get real.  What is it actually like to travel through Turkey?  Honestly, it was far more beautiful and more moving than I had ever expected.  In the West, we see very little of Turkish culture because it is a largely progressive, inclusive society with a thriving economy, so there are few Turkish immigrants to the West.  The crackdowns by Erdoğan are troubling from a human rights perspective, but as a tourist they have very little impact.

Traveling through Istanbul or the countryside is remarkably similar to the rest of Europe except for the fact that barely anyone speaks English.  It is officially a secular country (at least for now), and so there are no governmental restrictions on food or alcohol.  The people love to smoke, drive like absolute maniacs, and at the end of the day are trying to make a living - some more honestly than others.  In this regard, it is exactly like Europe, as I encountered the same scams I see everywhere else.

What was unique, however, was the refugee and safety issue.  Armed soldiers were at every major tourist site, like the one at Topkapi pictured at right.  Bomb-sniffing dogs roamed the parks and squares.  You can't enter any place without passing through a metal detector.  While it did help me feel safe, it is a grim reminder of how bad things have become.

The refugees were everywhere.  We encountered about a dozen hitchhikers when we were heading north on the return from Cappadocia.  When we were stuck in traffic, one Syrian boy aggressively begged at our taxi continuously for about a half a mile.  I saw a middle-aged man using a pack of cigarettes as a pillow when he slept on concrete.  At one restaurant, a little girl came up to us begging for food.  She was shoo'd away by the waiter, shaking his fist.  Moments later, two cats came begging.  He seemed embarrassed as he gently waved at the cats to go.  He was kinder to the animals than he was to the refugee.

It is worth repeating that Turkey was a spectacular trip with the great experiences far outnumbering the bad.   The Hagia Sophia, Sultanahmet, Topkapi Palace, and Cappadocia are even more beautiful than I could possibly have described.  And I didn't even get around to talking about the sights and bustle of the Grand Bazaar; the imposing beauty of multiple Byzantine mosques as seen from the Bosphorous Bridge; or the salt lake at Toz Gölü.  I learned an immense amount about a part of the world that the West has surprisingly neglected throughout history.  Even better, it is relatively inexpensive with beautiful ceramics, antiques, fabrics, and clothing for sale.

So despite its challenges, it was worth it.  Very worth it.  My brave travel companions and I refused to let a little political turmoil deter us, and we are all the better for it.

The Middle East from an American Perspective

To the average American and even to many of the well-traveled, the Middle East can feel like both a literal and metaphorical minefield.  To an outsider (myself included), it is extremely intimidating.  In reality, while there are a number of common features to the Middle East as a whole, each country has its own unique local culture, history, and feel.  In this way, it is much like the United States.  No American would confuse Montana with New York – although both states share the same language, predominantly Christian faith, and similar climate, there are regional accents, variations in levels of religiosity, and different political priorities.

So it goes in the Middle East, as well.  No Arab would confuse Saudi Arabia with Lebanon for essentially the exact same reasons.  Over the past two years, I’ve become increasingly interested with Middle Eastern politics with their Game of Thrones-style intrigue.  During this time, the individual Arab cultures have started to emerge from the background noise of the Middle East as a whole.  I figured it out the same way most Americans would – by comparing these countries to other states.  This has proven to be a very fun mental exercise I’ve gone through with many western Arabs with knowledge of both regions, and I think is a great introduction to the region before I start talking about my travels in Jordan.

Disclaimer – This is an immense oversimplification of an incredibly complex region.  I deliberately omitted the Sunni – Shi’ite elements that lately have had an immense impact on regional politics, simply because I do not think there is anything comparable in American politics.  This is meant to be fun and politically incorrect both to American and Arab readers.  I invite everyone with knowledge of both regions to join in this mental exercise in the comments.

Bahrain – Louisiana

While the majority of the country is conservative, there is a Bourbon Street-esque party scene.  It’s where the normally ultra-conservative Saudis go to party and drink.

Egypt – California

Egypt can be considered the home of the Arabic Hollywood, as the majority of Arab movies, music, and performing arts are produced in Egypt.  It has proven to be a cultural powerhouse, historically representative of the Middle East to the rest of the world.  Also similar to California, it is a popular vacation destination both for other Middle Easterners and to the international community.  While students at UC Davis were getting pepper-sprayed for justice, huge numbers of Egyptian students and youth recently occupied Tahrir Square to trigger the start of the Arab Spring.

Israel – The United States

Like the USA as a whole, Israel thinks it’s better than anything else in the region.  The truth is, while both countries can rightfully boast about prosperity and freedom for its peoples, neither is perfect and they both have had to do some ethically questionable things in order to get there.  Both love to claim moral superiority, but realistically are no better and no worse than their neighbors.  Both countries are led by doubletalking, egomaniacal ultranationalists who would do anything to stay in power.

Iraq – New Jersey

Iraq geographically sits between two major regional geopolitical players (Iran and Saudi Arabia), not unlike New Jersey’s central location between New York and Philadelphia.  Both places have a population that are particularly street-savvy hard workers.  The region (was) known for multiple high quality public institutions.  One key difference though: in Iraq, there was a blowhard leader whom nobody seemed to like.  In New Jersey, there still is one.

Iran – Texas

If Texas had its own army and was permitted to fund its own military agenda, it likely would act much like Iran’s Revolutionary Guard and its funding of sympathetic governments and local militias throughout the Middle East (Bashar Al-Assad in Syria, Hezbollah in Lebanon, Hamas in Gaza, and the Houthis in Yemen).  The most powerful regional politicians are polar opposite, however.  Ted Cruz is a rigidly religious, extreme conservative that would make the Grand Mullah proud.  On the other hand, Hassan Rouhani in Iran has been more progressive in recent years, Tweeting pictures of Iranian women with their hair uncovered and compromising with the U.N. to the point that its sanctions have been reduced.

Jordan – Pennsylvania

I will obviously have much more to say in future blog posts.  But its capital, Amman, was once known as Pheladelphia when the Romans controlled the region.  It is extremely progressive, with some conservative elements living outside the city.  Philadelphia played a major role in the birth of the United States, and Jordan was where Jesus was baptized.  Also, Jordanian shwarma is comparable to a Philadelphia cheesesteak.

Our view of Amman, or in this story, Pheladelphia.

Kuwait - Connecticut

Both places have quite a bit of money, and largely old money.  Unlike Kuwait, however, Connecticut was never invaded by Iraq.

Lebanon – Florida

Like Miami, Beirut is a multicultural, progressive party hub of the region.  Both regions have an unofficial second spoken language, with Spanish being widely spoken in Florida and French still spoken in many parts of Lebanon.  Outside the major cities, there remains a more traditional local population that is more conservative.

Palestine - South Dakota

Like Standing Rock, South Dakota, it is difficult to talk about Palestine without evoking strong opinions.  In both places, native peoples have been relegated to much smaller designated regions.  When these natives speak up or defend themselves in any meaningful way, the military is called in to make sure they behave, by any means necessary.  Like Standing Rock, there is no easy solution to a situation where the rights of some directly interfere with the rights of others.

Qatar – Minnesota

Both places are surprisingly well-off economically, with the majority of people brought in from the outside to work.  Both places have to cope with extreme temperatures, with one being very hot and the other very cold (I’ll let you guess which is which).  Minnesota had a track record (emphasis on the past tense) of not preparing its outside workers for its climate, as it famously imported Hmong refugees who lacked shoes and winter coats.  In Qatar, on the other hand, its imported Filipino and Indian workforce has seen an unfortunate number of deaths as it works to build stadiums for the World Cup in 2022.

Saudi Arabia – Alabama

It is difficult to generate an apt American comparison for Saudi Arabia.  Imagine a place even more conservative and religious than Alabama.  Now relocate the Vatican to this place.  Then give it an immense amount of wealth, but concentrate it within the hands of a single royal family.  This only begins to explain the economic, political, and religious powerhouse that is Saudi Arabia.  They are the Ying to Iran’s Yang, as most conflicts in the region can be traced back to the US-backed Saudi effort to counter the Russian-backed Iran, or vice versa.  I hope to one day visit Riyadh, Mecca, and Medina and blog at much greater length about this complex country.

Syria – Chicago

Once upon a time, both Syria and Chicago were immensely successful cultural centers.  Unfortunately, a large chunk of both places have fallen into lawlessness where periodically you can find live broadcasted inhuman brutality (in Chicago, it’s just on Facebook Live).

United Arab Emirates – New York

Both places are known for the immense opulence and success of one city, as the UAE boasts the legendary Dubai that competes with New York City / Manhattan.  Outside of this major city, there is nothing all that special or unique about the rest of the region, outside of perhaps one other city (Buffalo for NY, Abu Dhabi for UAE).

Yemen & Oman – Iowa & Nebraska

Both Yemen and Oman are culturally a bit more traditional than the rest of the region, but nobody really cares much about them or pays much attention to them.  Except for in the case of Yemen / Iowa, where politically it periodically becomes important for reasons that nobody seems to know.

Second Disclaimer – Seriously, this is meant as a satirical oversimplification of both the United States and the Middle East.  I recognize that all of the above are far more nuanced and complex than this blog entry gives them credit.  Hopefully, some of these caricature comparisons will help you distinguish these countries the next time you see them in the news.

Next up, I promise I will get back to my usual travel blogging.  In the coming days, I will be seeing the central citadel of Amman, the Hagia Sofia, the Blue Mosque, the caves of Cappadocia, Petra, Wadi Rum, and the Dead Sea.  I promise to describe them in as much detail as my meager writing skills allow.  Until then, please feel free to share your own country / state comparisons in the comments here or on Facebook!

Vienna, Austria

Noor posing with flowers at Karlsplatz station.

There exists a certain combination of beliefs, issues, and experiences of a place that is unique to that specific time.  The Europe I am seeing today is different from the Europe of a decade ago, and presumably different from the Europe in another ten years.  There is a great word for this in German, so great that we stole it and use it in English as well: zeitgeist.  As in, the zeitgeist of the United States during the Syrian civil war has been largely one of ultra-nationalism, fear, and xenophobia.  It's not necessarily a negative thing - I could just as easily talk about the zeitgeist of New York City during the 1960's being one of drugs, free love, and partying.  However, much more often it becomes a handy shorthand to talk about all of the other stuff from your vacation you may or may not have gone there to experience.

Our trip to Vienna has been a perfect encapsulation of the modern European zeitgeist.

A pretty picture of a Votivkirche Cathedral in Vienna, to distract from the depressing stage-setting.

Noor did not spend any time on Dr. Freud's couch.

Before I get to that, I should probably talk about the good, because there's a lot of it.  The city is absolutely beautiful.  There is more of a mixture of old and new than Prague, likely since Austria has seen more conflict than the Czech Republic (you might have heard a little about it).  But the scope of the history is much larger.  From huge, sprawling castles (Noor and I naively once tried to walk to a restaurant "on the other side of the castle" - the walk was well over a mile), to spectacular art collections (especially of Gustav Klimt), to science (Freud), Vienna has it all.  It reminds me of Rome in that I could spend weeks here and barely scratch the surface.

Inside the Schloss Schonnbrunn, Vienna.

But obviously, all of this beauty doesn't exist in a vacuum, and that's what I was getting at when I was talking about zeitgeist.  Europe is going through a relatively challenging time.  It had enjoyed half a century of relative peace and stability after World War II.  It seemed as though the lessons about the dangers of ultra-nationalism and racism were well-learned following the fall of Nazism, and its people understood that a unified European continent was in the best interest of all nations involved.  Standards of life for nearly all member countries were at historic highs, even though the global prominence of European nations gradually declined.

This guy seriously doesn't like CETA.

Now, a combination of factors are disrupting the European peace.  Militarily, Russia, previously nursing its wounds after the Cold War, invaded Crimea in an effort destabilize NATO.  The United States has threatened to not protect NATO countries for failing to adequately spend on their defense.  Economically, they have been outcompeted for years by cheap east Asian labor, and are currently threatened by new trade agreements like TTIP and CETA.  Internally, they are dealing with the challenge of an unprecedented number of Middle Eastern and Asian refugees while combating a hidden violent ideology.  This combination of factors has led some member nations to question the strength and necessity of the European Union.






So this was the background, the zeitgeist of our European vacation.  For us, it was a well-earned break from our new fast-paced lives.  But this was every day life for its inhabitants, and it is not business as usual.  There is no break for most of the people who are living here.  Vienna is an old city with a magnificent history, and it was filled to the brim with timeless art and architecture.  But if you open your eyes, it's impossible to ignore all of the other factors at play in this city.

In addition to its brilliant architecture and art, Vienna also has stunning skies.  View from the entrance of the Belvedere museum.

So now that I've shown you the beautiful touristy side (and hopefully did it justice), I can discuss the rest.  Some would call this the real part.  Immediately upon arriving at Vienna's central station, we happened upon a huge protest.  Greenpeace representatives, socialists, communists, anarchists, and trade unions all surrounded city hall in defiance of the proposed trade agreement that puts European environmentalism and trade in jeopardy.  Rather than tell the story, I'll just share a few pictures.

Completely by coincidence, we also stayed in the immigrant part of town.  This proved a huge plus in the food department, where kebabs were everywhere, delicious, and cheap.  But it provided a whole different perspective on the city.  When one pictures the refugee crisis, they tend to envision predominantly Syrians.  And to the untrained eye (like my own), it would seem that way.  But aided by Noor's accent identification and hijab recognition skills, we saw a far more multicultural scene.  The majority were Turks and Yugoslavians, but we also encountered Egyptians, Tunisians, Palestinians, and Saudis.  All of them were friendly, but nearly every one had a tired fear in their eyes.  It seemed as though they bore the weight of a people who left one war and are fighting another.  It was the same look I wrote about earlier when I wrote about the Syrian refugee crisis in America.

And another photo to break the seriousness.  This is me at the Belvedere museum.

So to bring things full circle, I suppose that this feels like such a unique time to be here because it feels like things can't last the way they are.  A people living in fear like the predominantly Arab population here cannot thrive.  And if they are kept in such fearful conditions and not welcomed into society at large, hateful ideologies will find willing ears.  But we saw plenty of signs that it could just as easily go the other, more hopeful way.  We saw it in the "Migrants Welcome" signs at the political protest.  We saw it with every double-take and welcoming smile at our little white-Arab interracial relationship.  And best of all, we saw it in the children.  In groups where white kids hung out with Asian, Desi, and Arab peers.  These kids will grow up to have less fear than their parents' generation, and with less fear comes less xenophobia, less nationalism.

Enjoying a performance of Mozart here for our one-year
anniversary.  I may have set the bar too high.

It's hokey, I know, and perhaps overly optimistic.  But you have to be optimistic about a place like this.  It's too beautiful to go back to the way things were, right?

Prague, Czech Republic

When I was a young man, I dreamt of European travels like so many others.  Of Paris, Rome, and London.  With each city I visited, though, there was a cadre of other travelers who kept telling me about a well-known secret: Prague.  I barely knew of the place when I started out, but after dozens of travelers have sung its praises I have put it high on the travel priority list.  So when the chance came to come to Prague for an epilepsy conference, the decision was already made.

View of Prague Castle from the waterfront at night.

It's easy to see why so many people fall in love with this city.  It has all of the best parts of Europe in one city that is cheaper, safer, and less overwhelming.  Prague has a history that spans over a millennium, and its architecture has escaped tw
o World Wars practically unscathed.  It has medieval style castles next to baroque cathedrals near some more abstract modern architecture.  Wandering through the streets at times feels like a Renaissance playground, only without the Black Death.  There are kitschy activities and there are museums with spectacular exhibits.  There are places of ill repute next to churches more spectacular than anything you'd find in the United States.  It's a perfect place to make poor decisions while feeling deeply connected to human history.

"The Dancing Building," a random office building among older architecture.

The streets are mostly cobblestone and typically are alive with people from all walks of life.  It's just the right amount of activity to feel like you're in a bustling city, but not so big so as to feel overwhelming.  The people are surprisingly friendly - both the pedestrians on the street and the drivers who have to deal with them. Traffic flow is helped by the presence of numerous bridges over the Vltava River, which is teeming with tourists on paddleboards, party boats, floating beach volleyball courts, running in giant clear plastic balls, or sitting around a floating barbecue.  Oh, and there's a Captain Morgan ship anchored along the waterfront.  The whole thing feels more like a much classier Acapulco.

Party boats, paddleboarders, and swans on the Vltava River, with Prague Castle in the background.

And there are a lot of things begging to claim your money.

The most famous of said bridges is the Charles Bridge, a wide cobblestone bridge built in the 1300's that now serves as the primary tourist hub.  On one side, there is Old City, with high Gothic style buildings reminiscent of the late Medieval period.  On the other side is the New City, with numerous modern upscale restaurants surrounded by baroque architecture.  In between you will find innumerable tourists, Catholicism-inspired statues, and a lot of beggars.

The cemetery at the Basilica of St. Peter & Paul

A trip to Prague would also not be complete without a trip to Vysehrad, an unpronounceable hill fortress that is about a 20 minute walk south from the center of the city.  It houses the Basilica of St. Peter and Paul, as well as some of the most beautiful views of Prague.  It also is the home to a surprising number of American college students, in all of their typical American eloquence.  The abundance of Americans extends even to the beggars, who all too often have an unmistakable American accent.

The view of Prague from Vysehrad.

Having never visited Eastern Europe before, the food is unique. First of all, water is never included with meals, as the locals drink far more beer than water.  It may be the only place in the world where beer is cheaper than water.  As for the food, most dishes are spiced simply with salt and pepper and make heavy use of potato, cabbage, beets, pork, and duck.  Our favorite is one of the most simple dishes: goulash.  People take their goulash seriously here, and the result is the most tender, flavorful beef stew with a sauce thick enough to stand up on your plate.  It typically is paired with a potato dumpling that resembles a chewier, paler version of white bread with a surprisingly rich flavor.  Speaking of potato, gnocchi is offered at nearly every restaurant and is always the perfect consistency - almost like a giant noodle.  Entrees are typically paired with beets and/or cabbage.  I imagine this would be a downside for most people, but Noor and I found it to be a huge plus.

This post will hopefully be updated once we visit the Clementinum, a spectacular library in the old part of town.  But we had too many pictures that we felt the urgent need to share.  Next up on this journey is Bratislava and Vienna.  Until then!

Syrian Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope

I entered the mosque late, the day before the refugee welcoming event.  There were still some people lingering around after Isha, the evening prayer, but it was relatively quiet.  I approached the young woman sorting through papers and boxes, and looking up at me, there was the unmistakable look of fear.  "Umm, can I help you?"

"Salaam alaikum," I reply.  Peace be upon you.  And the look of fear melts off her face.  I then start to tell her of the car full of donations that I needed to drop off so I could refill my car and bring another.  Her face morphs again to one of confusion.  You've come from where?  And these gifts came from whom?  And what background are you, anyway?

There's a certain fear about walking into a place where there is nobody else the same color as you.  It's one I've faced many times in my life, and to this day, there has never been a single time that fear was well-founded.  However, I am distinctly not used to people ever having any fear of me.  Which is why the look of confusion that crossed the organizer's face, even though it lasted for just a second, was so striking to me.

A cadre of young men helped unload our car.  For the first time of what would be many times, we told the story of where all these goods came from.  That we had casually asked our friends on Facebook one week ago for donations, and that we were overwhelmed by offers of help.  Help from Catholics, Protestants, Jews, agnostics, atheists.  From Italians, English, Germans, Turkish, Swedes, Irish.  From Americans.  In the end, we collected nearly $1000 of donations, and were nearly as overwhelmed as the people who received their generosity.

Also, it turns out my camera isn't
nearly as good as Brandon's.

What I had envisioned for this trip to North Jersey was my own Humans of New York style interview session.  To meet refugees in person and collect their stories, capturing a picture each time I could make an offer of help.  Unfortunately, things didn't quite turn out that way.  As I had alluded to in the beginning, there was an air of fear I had not anticipated prior to the event.  People were reticent to let strangers spectate the most personal aspects of their lives, and with good cause too.  Two days ago, a 24 year old girl was harassed in their town just for doing her laundry.  So certainly it would seem naive of me to assume that I could capture similar unbridled humanity.

The speakers focused on charitable opportunities to help our Syrian brothers and sisters.  About Quranic scripture detailing the necessity of helping their brothers.  Please note that all of this was in Arabic - I was decidedly not their target audience.  About the importance of showing these refugees that America is more than Donald Trump and Ted Cruz.  How important it is that they see love from within their community since they are likely to see hate from outside of it.

Unless you consider children with sticky fingers dangerous.
Then that place would have been TERRIFYING.

For my readers who feel more fear than love for this particular community (and I realize that it's a majority of you), I have a feeling you'd be interested to know what this intensely private community is telling its newest members.  To quote one of the speakers, "Be more American than the Americans, but never forget where you came from."  There was no subversive language, no suggestion of sharia, no kind words for the hateful ideology that drove these people from their homes.  There was nothing to be scared of, and a lot to be hopeful about.

After hours, one or two of the Syrian families were willing to step forward and speak in front of everyone.  They mostly told a story of exhausted perseverance.  How they gained security but lost their dignity in Syria by accepting the safety of a totalitarian regime.  How they were thankful for the gifts, but really what they wanted was a job.  How they'd be willing to accept a very humble life if it meant they earned it for themselves.  And through all of their talk, even through the language barrier, I could sense the lingering fear.

His other daughter was cute as a button.

So perhaps I was not able to HONY-style talk to refugees.  But I did get to talk to many of the people who were there to do good.  The Egyptian emigrant from the same hometown as me, who moved here 30 years ago.  When he first moved here, he had a BLT sandwich everyday for years, not knowing that bacon is pork.  His 16 year old daughter was one of the organizers of the remarkable event.  Then there was the Syrian emigrant, who came here almost 10 years ago, and now was serving as an activist for the new Syrians in the community.  There was the journalist, who was following one family around and was sharing their story.

Perhaps even more uplifting for us were all of the conversations were got to have with our donating friends.  Most are so humble as to explicitly forbid me from revealing their identities.  But we received gifts from people who were themselves asking for donations for their own causes.  From people who had to go tremendously out of their way to bring donations to a man without a car to pick them up.  From people whose cups were overflowing, and from people with just enough to quench their thirsts.  It felt in the end like we were receiving more than giving, as we wound up being the focus of so many other people's positivity.

In the end, the families were called up on stage.  A passionate speech rejected the label of refugee, and called on us all to call them our family.  Reluctantly, one by one, they came on stage.  Their response was mixed.  The children were exuberant, enjoying lavish festivities in their new home.  The adults, well, you could basically see every emotion on their face at the same time.  Happiness, sadness, fear, exhaustion, desperation, hope.  I would describe it, but I believe you can see exactly what I'm talking about in this picture:

In the end, we made our donation, and we know we did our bit to help.  But like all charity in life, the experience is bittersweet, as we were only left wishing we could do more.  We stepped away with phone numbers of other people looking to help, and we are hopeful to do more in the future.  In the meantime, every one of our friends looking to help can start by doing their part to fight the fear.  All it takes is a simple salaam alaikum...