The Middle East from an American Perspective

To the average American and even to many of the well-traveled, the Middle East can feel like both a literal and metaphorical minefield.  To an outsider (myself included), it is extremely intimidating.  In reality, while there are a number of common features to the Middle East as a whole, each country has its own unique local culture, history, and feel.  In this way, it is much like the United States.  No American would confuse Montana with New York – although both states share the same language, predominantly Christian faith, and similar climate, there are regional accents, variations in levels of religiosity, and different political priorities.

So it goes in the Middle East, as well.  No Arab would confuse Saudi Arabia with Lebanon for essentially the exact same reasons.  Over the past two years, I’ve become increasingly interested with Middle Eastern politics with their Game of Thrones-style intrigue.  During this time, the individual Arab cultures have started to emerge from the background noise of the Middle East as a whole.  I figured it out the same way most Americans would – by comparing these countries to other states.  This has proven to be a very fun mental exercise I’ve gone through with many western Arabs with knowledge of both regions, and I think is a great introduction to the region before I start talking about my travels in Jordan.

Disclaimer – This is an immense oversimplification of an incredibly complex region.  I deliberately omitted the Sunni – Shi’ite elements that lately have had an immense impact on regional politics, simply because I do not think there is anything comparable in American politics.  This is meant to be fun and politically incorrect both to American and Arab readers.  I invite everyone with knowledge of both regions to join in this mental exercise in the comments.

Bahrain – Louisiana

While the majority of the country is conservative, there is a Bourbon Street-esque party scene.  It’s where the normally ultra-conservative Saudis go to party and drink.

Egypt – California

Egypt can be considered the home of the Arabic Hollywood, as the majority of Arab movies, music, and performing arts are produced in Egypt.  It has proven to be a cultural powerhouse, historically representative of the Middle East to the rest of the world.  Also similar to California, it is a popular vacation destination both for other Middle Easterners and to the international community.  While students at UC Davis were getting pepper-sprayed for justice, huge numbers of Egyptian students and youth recently occupied Tahrir Square to trigger the start of the Arab Spring.

Israel – The United States

Like the USA as a whole, Israel thinks it’s better than anything else in the region.  The truth is, while both countries can rightfully boast about prosperity and freedom for its peoples, neither is perfect and they both have had to do some ethically questionable things in order to get there.  Both love to claim moral superiority, but realistically are no better and no worse than their neighbors.  Both countries are led by doubletalking, egomaniacal ultranationalists who would do anything to stay in power.

Iraq – New Jersey

Iraq geographically sits between two major regional geopolitical players (Iran and Saudi Arabia), not unlike New Jersey’s central location between New York and Philadelphia.  Both places have a population that are particularly street-savvy hard workers.  The region (was) known for multiple high quality public institutions.  One key difference though: in Iraq, there was a blowhard leader whom nobody seemed to like.  In New Jersey, there still is one.

Iran – Texas

If Texas had its own army and was permitted to fund its own military agenda, it likely would act much like Iran’s Revolutionary Guard and its funding of sympathetic governments and local militias throughout the Middle East (Bashar Al-Assad in Syria, Hezbollah in Lebanon, Hamas in Gaza, and the Houthis in Yemen).  The most powerful regional politicians are polar opposite, however.  Ted Cruz is a rigidly religious, extreme conservative that would make the Grand Mullah proud.  On the other hand, Hassan Rouhani in Iran has been more progressive in recent years, Tweeting pictures of Iranian women with their hair uncovered and compromising with the U.N. to the point that its sanctions have been reduced.

Jordan – Pennsylvania

I will obviously have much more to say in future blog posts.  But its capital, Amman, was once known as Pheladelphia when the Romans controlled the region.  It is extremely progressive, with some conservative elements living outside the city.  Philadelphia played a major role in the birth of the United States, and Jordan was where Jesus was baptized.  Also, Jordanian shwarma is comparable to a Philadelphia cheesesteak.

Our view of Amman, or in this story, Pheladelphia.

Kuwait - Connecticut

Both places have quite a bit of money, and largely old money.  Unlike Kuwait, however, Connecticut was never invaded by Iraq.

Lebanon – Florida

Like Miami, Beirut is a multicultural, progressive party hub of the region.  Both regions have an unofficial second spoken language, with Spanish being widely spoken in Florida and French still spoken in many parts of Lebanon.  Outside the major cities, there remains a more traditional local population that is more conservative.

Palestine - South Dakota

Like Standing Rock, South Dakota, it is difficult to talk about Palestine without evoking strong opinions.  In both places, native peoples have been relegated to much smaller designated regions.  When these natives speak up or defend themselves in any meaningful way, the military is called in to make sure they behave, by any means necessary.  Like Standing Rock, there is no easy solution to a situation where the rights of some directly interfere with the rights of others.

Qatar – Minnesota

Both places are surprisingly well-off economically, with the majority of people brought in from the outside to work.  Both places have to cope with extreme temperatures, with one being very hot and the other very cold (I’ll let you guess which is which).  Minnesota had a track record (emphasis on the past tense) of not preparing its outside workers for its climate, as it famously imported Hmong refugees who lacked shoes and winter coats.  In Qatar, on the other hand, its imported Filipino and Indian workforce has seen an unfortunate number of deaths as it works to build stadiums for the World Cup in 2022.

Saudi Arabia – Alabama

It is difficult to generate an apt American comparison for Saudi Arabia.  Imagine a place even more conservative and religious than Alabama.  Now relocate the Vatican to this place.  Then give it an immense amount of wealth, but concentrate it within the hands of a single royal family.  This only begins to explain the economic, political, and religious powerhouse that is Saudi Arabia.  They are the Ying to Iran’s Yang, as most conflicts in the region can be traced back to the US-backed Saudi effort to counter the Russian-backed Iran, or vice versa.  I hope to one day visit Riyadh, Mecca, and Medina and blog at much greater length about this complex country.

Syria – Chicago

Once upon a time, both Syria and Chicago were immensely successful cultural centers.  Unfortunately, a large chunk of both places have fallen into lawlessness where periodically you can find live broadcasted inhuman brutality (in Chicago, it’s just on Facebook Live).

United Arab Emirates – New York

Both places are known for the immense opulence and success of one city, as the UAE boasts the legendary Dubai that competes with New York City / Manhattan.  Outside of this major city, there is nothing all that special or unique about the rest of the region, outside of perhaps one other city (Buffalo for NY, Abu Dhabi for UAE).

Yemen & Oman – Iowa & Nebraska

Both Yemen and Oman are culturally a bit more traditional than the rest of the region, but nobody really cares much about them or pays much attention to them.  Except for in the case of Yemen / Iowa, where politically it periodically becomes important for reasons that nobody seems to know.

Second Disclaimer – Seriously, this is meant as a satirical oversimplification of both the United States and the Middle East.  I recognize that all of the above are far more nuanced and complex than this blog entry gives them credit.  Hopefully, some of these caricature comparisons will help you distinguish these countries the next time you see them in the news.

Next up, I promise I will get back to my usual travel blogging.  In the coming days, I will be seeing the central citadel of Amman, the Hagia Sofia, the Blue Mosque, the caves of Cappadocia, Petra, Wadi Rum, and the Dead Sea.  I promise to describe them in as much detail as my meager writing skills allow.  Until then, please feel free to share your own country / state comparisons in the comments here or on Facebook!